Tour Managers
Log
by Mark Charlton
Day 1:
OK – my money was on Rodgers still being in bed when
the minibus called to collect the boys from Willerby
Square. His time keeping is as bad as his passing.
Alas, I lost the money and he was an hour early –
not having read the briefing sheet given out to the
players. I was woken up by a text to that effect at
2.45am. (Cheers CT. Mrs MCS has a few choice words
for you for waking her up!)
The tales on the minibus were mostly from Rodgers
(as usual) as he told of his plans to find what
Rodgers looks for – “companionship”.
On arrival at the airport, we headed off the the
check-in for those flying cattle class only to be
greeted by three coppers who took all of our
passports off us.
Apparently all large groups had their passports
checked to make sure we weren’t harbouring any know
football hooligans!
We flew, we arrived and that’s the best way of
summing up a budget airline!
The FC fans on our flight all clamoured for the one
taxi at the airport, fortunately we had a 52 seat
air conditioned team bus awaiting us and within 30
minutes of landing we were en route for Perpignan.
After checking in at the 3* hotel, the boys broke up
and headed off to explore Perpignan. With CT, TJ and
Briscoe, we headed off to find a place to eat –
French baguettes filled with a variety of fillings
were the order of the day; followed by a trip to the
Grande Café de la Poste – which was to become FC
fans local for the duration of the trip. A lazy
sunny afternoon sat there watching the locals was a
pleasure. The day became night and it was more vino,
beer and a rather good steak to finish day 1. Sid
did say it was a bit too French, but he had to have
his daily moan about something.
Day 2:
14 travellers and only 4 made breakfast.
We headed off to Canet sur Plage for beach training,
but given the sand was hot enough to peel the skin
off the feet it was into the water.
The locals on the bus tried to ask Sid where his
teacher was as they were keen to find out who we
were and what we were in France for.
The beach day was a great laugh – plenty of time in
the water which was really warm. The day was capped
off by the American Steak Sandwich at WOMPY – a fake
WIMPY! The sandwich was a 14 inch baguette with 2
burgers chopped in half, cheese and chips –
legendary.
The night saw the boys head off into the town and
meet up with various new arrivals at the local. We
were joined early on by Dick Tingle and Gwilym
Lloyd. We had passing conversations with the FC
board and the coaching staff. By the time the media
hacks had returned Gwilym had returned from middle
earth in a state to which we became familiar with.
Battered would describe it quite well.
Day 3: Game Day
The boys had free reign on what they did. Most of
them headed off to the Malibu village to chase
girlies and play in the pools. It was here that
Squid made a life changing decision and became
lobster. It was to leave him in agony for the rest
of the trip, not to mention being massaged with
natural yoghurt by the Guv !!
 The
boys regrouped around 5pm to catch the coach to the
BBQ and our game against Les Catalans u 19’s. The
boys arrived at Le Stade Municipal at 6pm and took a
look around. We agreed with our hosts that this game
would be touch (as they had no tags) – but it was to
be 9-a-side on a full pitch (international size –
100 m by 68m). We warmed up – a short set of passing
in the corners, a few stretches in the heat was more
than adequate. It was onto the game. Match reports
will follow, however, the game was a tight affair
for a while, but with quarter time breaks, we were
desperate for refreshment. In a 60 minute game the
boys consumed just short of 50 litres of water.
Post match we celebrated the victory with old
faithful, but the usual gusto was a little thin. In
the dressing room, the guys were buoyant but
desperately short of energy. It took almost an hour
for the whole team to arrive in the bar afterwards,
where each player was greeted with a round of
applause as they entered. The dragons had been
slayed, and boy it felt damn good. After the post
match BBQ – it was back into Perpignan to join the
growing army of FC fans. The Irregulars were close
to making a major signing for one game, however,
Peter Sharp couldn’t be bribed to release Tommy Lee
on loan – Tommy was willing to play in return for
some of our of kit which he really liked!
Oh and Gwilym was battered again – but the 'Bitch'
was sorted by the hair dyed one. Gwilym 1 Sid 0.
Day 4: Game day (again)
Most of the squad made breakfast and started the
ritual ribbing of Butlers Boys. After the late
evening heat the previous day, there was some
apprehension about the midday sun as the boys
boarded the us to St Esteve – the scene of our
famous victory the night before.
We were greeted at
the ground by Sandra and Chris Thompson from our
sponsors SignStyle – they had made the 40 minute
journey from Narbonne to see us play, with family
Chris and Sam Jones.
Yet again, we have a match report, but we took a
commanding lead and almost let it slip – although
that was more down to fatigue setting in than
Sheffield undoing us. 2 games in two days in 38
degree heat had its effect. We returned to the hotel
to shower after the game and the bus journey back to
the hotel was quite unpleasant as 30 sweaty bodies
were cooling down on there.
It was then back to the local for a swift loosener
before the coach trip to Narbonne – where some of
the squad went to watch England and a few of us went
to eat at the ground.
The stadium in Narbonne is a neat stadium with good
viewing points and some shade from the extreme
temperatures.
The evening provided a chance to socialise with the
first team – to celebrate Briscoe Jordan and Richard
Swain’s Birthday.
Day 5: Going Home
OK – I went to bed and woossed out – but 3 hours was
enough to keep me going. Raising the boys that had
drunk themselves to sleep was more problematic. Sam
Atkinson was definitely the worse for wear 20
minutes before the bus arrived he was comatosed and
hadn’t packed any of his stinking gear into his
case. He was still clearly inebriated at the
airport. At the check in the lady behind the desk
was of the same impression and I thought we were
leaving him behind as he swayed and smiled stupidly
at the check staff. She appeared to be looking for
security as she stalled adding the tags to his
luggage. Those three hours sleep worked – I quickly
remarked that he had special needs – she smiled
uncomfortably, added the bags – gave him back his
passport and we ushered him away.
In the cold light of day, this was a fantastic trip
with a great bunch of blokes. A great laugh,
incredibly tiring and above all a great success with
victories for the boys in both of there games. Next
year, I’m having a family holiday down there when FC
play – so you will need another tour manager – but
on this occasion I’m proud to have managed the first
Irregulars overseas tour and to have a record of two
games, two victories.
Allez Les Irregulars |
